Yoga Glow

Yoga Glo. 

Have any of you readers out there tried it?

I haven't, but it looks like fun.

I really like going to classes, but I find that on any given day, I can find an excuse not to go.

For the gym - it's different. I have a gym downstairs in my building, PLUS the massive GoodLife location on Yonge St. just north of Sheppard. (Gotta love Toronto for all of the GoodLife locations!) There's literally NO excuse to skip workouts (even when I do, sigh... Lazy Nikki).

But with going to a Yoga Studio, or any types of classes with a set schedule, I find that it's easier for me to make excuses. I got lucky with Yoga Tree in that they have classes I can take right before or right after work, but that then extends my work-day by a couple of hours. It just doesn't work for me on a regular basis. Once in a while is fine, but not every day.

And then there's today. It's 2pm, and I want a nice relaxing Yoga Class. I don't want to leave home and rush to a studio, and I'm in the type of mood where I don't want to be around groups of people because I don't feel comfortable in my mind, body or practice today. So that's where this online streaming of classes comes in.

So I'm going to give it a try, and see how it goes! It's $18 per month which isn't steep at all, and the first 15 days are free to use. You can cancel at any time in those 15 days to not get charged for a first month. (No, I'm not advertising this hahaha...)

Yoga Lessons - Life Impacts Your Practice

Well, it's Tuesday July 1st. Happy Canada Day! :)

I've done Yoga once since my last post - and it was really difficult for me.
It was a Hatha class at Yoga Tree, and with a same teacher who I've taken a class with before. (Previously the Restorative Yoga class.)

I really like her teaching style, but for some reason the class wasn't working with me. It's nothing to do with her, she's great! It's not even Hatha - because I've always preferred Hatha classes among others (except Hot Yoga. All time fave!). I actually left the class feeling pretty bad, because I was struggling and stumbling, and couldn't wipe the frustrated look and emotion off of my face no matter what I tried.

It's because of my own mind.

I came to the mat feeling very frustrated and imbalanced in every aspect of my life.

Your practice is influenced by your day, your mood, and your state of mind. 

This couldn't be any more true.  I was in such a horrible mood, and even though I wanted to focus on the postures, and flow through them - I couldn't stand up straight; my shoulders were hunched, my eyebrows were tense, my legs were wobbly, light twists hurt my stomach and spine, chair pose made my legs feel like they were going to collapse, even corpse pose and child's pose wasn't working for me! (How can I screw up those last two?! Really...)

I was just completely off in all respects. I layer there in corpse pose and I almost started crying. Actually, full disclosure: I did cry a little bit. Everything felt so off balance, and I hate when I feel like that. I understand that there's an ebb and flow to life, and the worst times are there to make us appreciate the better times - but this was too much for me.

I've been feeling really drained in all aspects of my fitness regime. This is why I was getting back into Yoga - I felt that I needed to focus my mind and body, and get a good stretch and workout in the process. It's a win-win really.

This class taught me that I need to really re-evaluate the aspects of my life that are bothering me. I've become a push-over in some situations that I won't go into detail of on my blog... But I'm learning that instead of sitting and bottling it all up for the sake of saving face, I need to stand up for myself. I'm a person. I'm not a pushover. I'm not someone who can take shovels and shovels of garbage from people, nor is anyone else. We're all just people. No one is any better than anyone else, so for someone to have the misconception that they can treat me a certain way due to their status or whatever beliefs they have in their head is a sad thing. Sad for me - because I have allowed myself to have it impact my health (dear stress levels and anxiety - go away!), and I have allowed it to impact my sense of self. I've put myself down so many times in the past year or so - just when I was starting to build myself up, too. I've allowed myself to be treated as though I'm lower than others just because I was making a change and "starting at the bottom" again. Well, when you start at the bottom and are pushed to stay down at the bottom - something magical happens. You realize that the only place you can go is UP, and you realize that you're worth more than all of the negative that suffocates you.

This class helped me focus on a lot. Maybe I really did need this bad experience to open my eyes to what's around me. I am very grateful right now for what I've learned. That teacher will never know that she played such a pivotal role in my being right now.

Yoga Lessons - Never Enough Time

Well, yesterday I was supposed to go to the gym - but I didn't. 
Then, I thought I'd do some Yoga at home - but I didn't. I just felt overwhelmed... There's not enough time in my evenings... And somehow, no matter how thin I spread my time, it's just not enough. Somehow, this is my fault.

So... I sat on my butt, and read articles and reviews about the program I registered for (ISSA Specialist in Fitness Nutrition certification - I'll save that for another post!). Then I went to bed at a reasonable time, and slept in this morning.

I'm a little sad today. Or, maybe not sad... But pensive.
I don't want to get into specifics, but there never seems to be enough time for things.
I was taking on this 30-Day Yoga challenge for a personal growth exercise. I was feeling lost, unstable, unhappy, not sleeping properly, headaches and fatigue, depressed, and hopeless. I was having bouts of anxiety or panic attacks, and just felt crappy all around. I was even getting sick every other week, and started having issues with my stomach to the point where I couldn't keep food down on some days.

I took one of my lunch hours to consider why I was unhappy (I'm still not 100% sure...), and decided that I'd go to a place that I visited before when I felt this way: Yoga.
Not the same studios I've gone to in the past, but taking Yoga in general made me a happier person. It gave me "me time", and time to reflect on my thoughts. Then, it allowed me to push those thoughts aside and connect my body with my mind, and feel a sense of relief when I realized during each practice, that I'm more than just my problems. Life is more than the things we find to be unfortunate, and we need to find gratitude in all the good we experience. This helps us discover balance and a proper perspective of life. At least for me it does.

It's a happy place for me, my Yoga practice...

But when something negative comes into the situation, and pushes you from being able to do it when you need it most, the whole situation becomes a negative experience. I hope to turn it around, and make it positive again.

Yoga Lessons - Time Passes

Thursday June 19th ... Shhh...
Friday June 20th ... Leg day at the gym. I was in no shape for Yoga unfortunately, and wanted to make sure I was good for the morning of...
Saturday June 21st - OMTO 2014 at the Distillery District! I can't even express how amazing this event was. See below for more in-depth review of my experience!
Sunday June 22nd ... Recovering from leg day + yoga day... No Yoga.
Monday June 23rd ... Spent the day at home and then at the Toronto Islands... No Yoga.
Tuesday June 24th ... Back at work after the holiday weekend. No Yoga. :( Even though I probably needed it...
Wednesday June 25th - current day. Yoga has not been done YET, and I'm not sure if I'll get to do any today because it's Leg Day at the gym! I'll try to get in a solid 10-20 though.

So let me tell you about OMTO 2014!
What a stunningly beautiful way to bring in the Summer Solstice. 
It was a full day of yoga from 9am - 5pm. I had told myself I would at least go for the first class at 9am, which I did. I then stayed for the next two classes, and I'm so thankful I pushed myself to! The classes I took were:

• 9:15 - 9:55 - Hatha Flow with Amanda O'Malley from Yoga Tree
• 10:15 - 10:55 - Solar Flow Yoga with Jodi Fischtein from 889 Yoga
• 11:15 - 11:55 - Moksha Yoga with Megan Hoskins from Moksha Yoga 

Where to start... The teachers for these classes were nothing short of amazing. The one that I'm happy to have spoken to afterwards was Amanda from Yoga Tree. That's the studio I've been going to, so I knew I had to make it for that class. She was so nice, and her class had such a great flow! There isn't a single negative thing I can even say about this event, because it was filled with so many awesome people coming together to enjoy an awesome day.
I had wanted to stay for the whole day, but unfortunately this fair-skinned lady started to get sunburn and had too much sun... I had to head out shortly after the Moksha class finished, and went on a mini-adventure around the Distillery District (Soma Chocolate... goodness...), and then over to Tori's Bakeshop - just because. ;)
This day made me so happy.

Thoughts of Om
Class number 2 had a special moment for me. We did three Oms at the end - and the second one was "Om number 2 for those who you love".
As I was laying there, I felt myself starting to cry during that Om. It made me think about the people I have had in my life, and how a high majority of the people I love have passed away. I don't normally think about this stuff when doing Yoga, but this forced me to. I don't take it as a negative thing though, but it did give me a chance to reflect on a few things and on the people who are in my life today.

It also made me think about how short life is. Don't get me wrong, I've always known how short life is. The biggest lesson for me in how fragile life is was when my mum passed away. I was only 14, and she was 44.

I'm turning 30 next month, and to think that my mum was only 14 years older than I am now when she passed away just makes me realize how young she really was... I also acknowledge how fast the last decade has passed... Time is precious and always fleeting, life is short, and that Om really made me think about that as well. It made me think that if we don't take a moment to think about (and appreciate) those who we love, they could be gone and we'll be thinking about them as a memory rather than someone we can show appreciation to in the present day.

Yoga Lessons - Strength

Today was a Hot Yoga class at Yoga Tree Midtown, and it was great!
There's nothing like a good sweat and stretch at 6:30 in the morning! ;)

It was a challenge to get up early enough, but I managed - and I'm thankful I did. The teacher of this class was great, and I didn't realize she was teaching this class - but it was none other than Jennifer Nicol, who's quite the inspirational woman in terms of health and fitness! So it was an honour to have been to one of her classes. :) There was a high energy, challenging poses, intense heat in the room (which after a long winter, I'm loving!), and I left feeling great.

The thought for this class was "Strength", and was very fitting. It took strength to get up early, strength to go through the poses, and it's always important to have strength and not give up when you feel like you can't do something the "right" way. I found the mental and emotional strength to not get discouraged, and to not push my body past what was feeling right at that moment in time.

I've had those times where I try to push myself past the point that I can handle, and I've injured myself because of that. So today, I put in a strong effort, but kept my mind strong as well.

Everything in life is a learning process, and staying strong and persisting, while being kind to yourself - is a very important thing.Strength isn't just about the physical, but it's about the mental and spiritual as well. All three are connected. You can start any physical activity you want, but if you don't have the mental strength to stick to it and work through weaknesses, you won't get very far.

Speaking of strength...
After the class, I had some time before work, so I went to the gym. I gave myself some time to do some work on my back (and a bit of biceps, triceps, and shoulders).
Then, after a quick shower, I was off to start my day feeling refreshed and energized! What a great way to start the day...

Yoga Lessons - It's Okay To Pause

One of the most important things with any elements of fitness is to listen to your body.
Yesterday, my body needed a rest from anything fitness related. I had a real case of "The Mondays" yesterday, and somehow managed to let my mood dictate my actions. I stayed home, I did a bit of reading, and went to bed early. It was needed...

Today, I woke up early (yay!) and went down to Yoga Tree for a 7am Core Yoga class. It was the same teacher as Sunday's Hot Yoga class, so it was a great intense and relaxing workout to start the day!

I felt a little guilty last night for not taking a class, because I know that having a bad day is a bad excuse. If anything, a workout or yoga class would've made me feel better, right? But this morning, we were reminded to "let it go". Let go of the thoughts that don't serve you, and of the things that don't matter in the current moment.

I'm so grateful for having woken up early enough to take that class today. I love that feeling of waking up and heading out before most alarm clocks have even gone off. There's something special about walking down the street as the sun is barely in the sky. It's so calm, barely any traffic, and you just feel so at peace.

I've been ignoring the gym a bit while starting back up with Yoga, but I don't want to get rusty! This evening, I'm going to hit the weights again, because I miss them... Then, early to bed! Early to rise...

Tomorrow morning, there's a Hot Yoga class from 6:30am - 7:30am, and my goal is to try to take that one! I'll have to leave shortly before 6, but I think that's doable. I just need to prepare my things for tomorrow, tonight.

It's a good day to have a good day.

Yoga Lessons - Just Let Go

Sunday June 15th was an intense Hot Yoga class.

Where to begin... There were dolphin planks, kicks/jumps while in downward dog, more planks, lots of twists, and a serious sweat! I loved this class - I'm a big fan of Hot Yoga, and I feel my muscles get an amazing workout in the hotter temperatures. And this teacher? Super high energy! She was like a Drill Sargent, but one that you actually like because she eats banana bread and is bubbly.

One of my happy-place moments was when we were breathing in corpse pose, and the teacher talked about letting go of thoughts. She said that it doesn't matter what you have to do later, or what happened yesterday, but just be here, right now.

I liked that. I know it's a simple thought, to be "in" the moment. But it's a golden thought to remember. My mind tends to wander a lot, and I often have a problem focusing on the task at hand, whatever it may be.

I spend many parts of my day thinking about what I have to do later, or things that have already happened. What does this accomplish though? I mean, really... Focusing on things that aren't happening right now is basically thinking about things that don't actually exist yet/anymore. They're no longer real.

So every time my mind started to wander, I just told myself "let it go" and focused on my breath. It was challenging, and it happened a lot... But I just kept repeating "let it go" over and over, until the pointless thoughts were gone. The mental to-do list will still be there when you're done what you're doing now, so why focus on it? Thinking about things that aren't happening right now prevent you from truly being in the moment of whatever you're doing. And as I've expressed in other posts, life is short. It's too short to think about a time that isn't even here when you have something you're experiencing right now.

This, this exact moment, is the only moment you truly experience. Pretty soon, the future will be in this exact moment - so think about it when it becomes the present. Don't dispose of something you have right now for something that doesn't exist.

Yoga Lessons - Gratitude for the Overlooked

[Late Post - Couldn't post on Saturday!]

Saturday June 14th was Restorative Yoga at Yoga Tree Midtown. I'll be honest, I was a little reluctant to take a restorative class.
Something happened though... As I was getting dressed, I moved my legs to put my pants on, and I felt just how tense my hamstrings were. There was no way I was going to be able to even attempt a downward dog and not fall over.
So - restorative it was, and for that I am grateful.
And the teacher of the class? Nothing short of amazing. She gave variations to poses, her voice was soothing, and the class had a lovely format. I was able to get deep into relaxing stretches, and give my hips and hamstrings time to really release any tension that had built up from the previous week. I needed that class, and it was the perfect thing for my body. 

The lesson for this class was Gratitude. 

How fitting. :)

As I was laying there, breathing deeply into my whole body - I thought about all of the things I should be grateful for. I found myself getting caught up in some unpleasant emotions about family, because in my childhood when we had to list things we were thankful for - I would have put my family at the top of that list.
Unfortunately, my family is no longer with me. I lost my mum when I was 14, and both of my grandparents when I was 13 and 15. I'll be 30 in a month, so that's been half of my life that I've been without them, and it hurts now just as much as it did back then - only in a different way.
I started to feel negativity wash over my body, and I hated the feeling. So I tried my best to turn it around. I reminded myself how grateful I am for having known my mum and my grandparents for as long as I did. There are people who lose their parents at a much younger age - and there are people who have much less than me... No matter how hard things get in my life, there are people who would look at my situation and think I'm silly for being sad.

I am grateful I knew my mum. She was a wonderfully imperfect and random woman, and a strong woman. I'm proud to have had her as my mum, and I know she would be proud of me no matter what turns my life takes. She was that type of person who didn't judge anyone. She accepted people for who they were. She made me feel so loved and cared for in the years she was on this earth with me. I am grateful to have felt that love, even if only for half of my life.

I am grateful for those in my life who care about me now. I am grateful for my dog, Buddy. I am grateful for a functional and healthy body. I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given in this life - even if I complain about them after the novelty wears off. I am grateful for every breath I take, because there are people who are breathing their last.

Life is so short... It is so fragile, and can slip away at any moment. This class gave me a gentle reminder to take a few moments each day, and count the blessings I should be grateful for.

Yoga Lessons - Persistence and Time

Yesterday was Day 2 of my 30 Days of Yoga, and I took a gentle Hatha Yoga class at Yoga Tree - Midtown. The atmosphere was definitely very different from my first class at this studio (the Hot Yoga class), and I expected that. The room was bright, the shades were pulled up to let more light in, and the pace of the class was somewhat fast. The poses were challenging for me which I enjoyed, though any Yoga pose can be a challenge if you let it be. You only get out of it what you put into it.

That being said, I encountered something I've faced at other Yoga studios in the past that has usually deterred me from continuing classes there: I didn't like the teacher. 

Now, it's nothing against her really... I mean, I'm sure she's a nice person but I don't even know the woman (I can't even remember her name), so I can't form a legitimate opinion of who she is. That being said, something about how she spoke and how she taught the class just didn't sit well with me. It's the little things in a Yoga class that stand out in your mind, and for me these things weren't in line with what I wanted. She almost gave off that elitist Yoga attitude (probably not even intentional), and that's not something I enjoy in the least bit.

I found myself about halfway through silently wishing for the class to hurry up and end.
I started to feel anxiety, and became very aware of noises in the hallway from people sitting outside waiting for another class to start. I could hear the "ding" from the elevator in the outer hallway. I could hear people shifting into their poses, and opening up their water bottles to drink. I had that feeling that I wanted to leave. I was feeling the "fight or flight" response, and wanted more than anything to "fly" out of that room and go home.
I get this feeling every day.
I sit at my desk thinking "okay, it's almost _:__ o'clock, it's just __ more hours until I can leave..."
I sit (or stand...) on the subway thinking "okay, just ___ more stops until mine..."
I walk places, past crowds of people, frustrated with how slow they walk, or how they cut me off while I'm walking...

I immediately stopped myself from thinking about all of this, and just took a deep breath. I wanted to take these classes for my well being, and I wanted to escape from the hold that anxiety has on me.
I took a sip of water, and I told myself "it's not the external situations that's bothering you, it's all in your mind".
I took another deep breath, held it, and released. I knew this class wasn't working for me, but I realized that what I was feeling was only my perception of the situation. It was just a room with people, and we were all bending and stretching into poses. The sounds I was hearing were always there, whether I noticed them or not, and the only difference was that I was allowing myself to lose focus on the task at hand and be distracted by things that didn't matter, and things that I couldn't control.

So I persisted. 
I focused on each pose, albeit wobbly, and went deeper into each stretch. I took deep breaths in through my nose, and released the hold on my lungs to let the stale air out. I continued on with the class right until the end, and took the few moments while rolling up my mat to silently thank myself for staying.
I was happy that I didn't give up, and that I persisted.

Time will pass. 
Not all situations in life will be favorable, but that doesn't mean you should spend that time wishing for time to pass. Time is such a precious and fleeting "thing", and it passes at the same speed whether we're miserable or enjoying it. I want to spend my time here being IN the moment, instead of looking back at my time on this earth with a sense of longing for more of it because of all the wasted and unappreciated moments.

Yoga!

Back to the Mat! 

Yesterday, I went for my first Yoga class in almost a year. It was a Hot Yoga class in the "Fire" (I love that!) room - which I found fitting as I'm a fire sign (no, I'm not an astrology fanatic).

I decided to purchase a 30 day unlimited pass from Yoga Tree in Toronto, and I have a feeling this is one of the better decisions I've made for myself.

My mini-goal is to do Yoga every day for the next 30 days. Whether I go to a class every day, or practice at home and go to a few class sessions each week - I will achieve this! But my goal goes much deeper than 30 days...

Goals

I've felt like I'm at a stagnant phase in my life. I feel like I've lost a connection with myself, and the anxious stressful feelings that constantly plague my mind are getting old. I want to let them go, and I want to move past them. I know I have some deep thinking to do in terms of goals I have for myself, my career, and whatever else - but I need to approach this thought process with a clear mind. I guess you could say I'm doing a cleanse of the mind for a little while. 

There's so much focus on "cleanses" and "detoxes" with food, and people like to do these as the seasons change - but why not do a mental cleanse too? 

First Class Experience

I shouldn't really say this is my "first class", as I'm familiar with Yoga. However, I haven't been to a class since around this time last year. It was a Jock Yoga class, and it was phenomenal. I also used to do P90X Yoga on the regular. Mostly for fitness and flexibility though. I'm not sure why I didn't pick my practice back up, and I'm not sure how I lost it for the past year - but I'm happy to start back up. 

The studio was quiet, with very nice women working at the counter. They were friendly and welcoming, and I even had a nice chat with one of them while waiting for the previous class to finish. The atmosphere won me over instantly, because I've been to studios that give me that cold "clique" feeling that I remember all too well from my high school years.

I went for an 8:15pm Hot Yoga class, and surprisingly there was only 8 or 9 students. I'm not complaining though, because I didn't have that stress of rushing to find a spot where I wouldn't be kicked in the face during Downward Dog. 

The lights were dim, and the air was hot. I stayed in corpse pose until the class started, it was a beautiful feeling. I focused on my breath, and took some time to just let thoughts enter and leave my mind without any control. 

Class started, and it was a glorious sweat-filled hour of deep stretches, twists, and a move I've never done before! (Upward Facing Bow/Wheel Pose! I've never done this before, and was shown how to ease into it!)

Accomplishments

I know this seems like a small accomplishment to experienced Yogis, and to people who don't practice it may seem silly... But to me, it was about more than just the pose. It was about going into a situation and not thinking I could accomplish a specific task. I find this is a big roadblock for me in life. Whether it be in my career, with my fitness goals, or with anything really... I constantly underestimate myself and what I'm capable of. I look at other people who are finding "success", and who are happy - and I think "that could never be me".

But, with encouragement and knowledge - I took a chance, I attempted something I had not yet done before - and I saw success!
This class gave me the valuable reminder that my abilities are only as limited as I believe them to be. I needed this, and as I'm typing this, I feel like crying. It's not that I'm sad, but I feel a little more opened up than I did even just a few days ago. This one moment gave me access to a vision of reaching for things I previously believed to be out of reach.

For this, I am grateful. I know I will have good and bad moments during my practice, and I look forward to what I can learn from each and every one.

Opinions of the Body - A Look at the Numbers

I want to take a moment to discuss opinions of the body. Purely physical and nothing else considered.

Your body is not beautiful to everyone. My body may not be beautiful to you. Your body may not be beautiful to me. You might not like my hair, and I might think your [whatever] is too [whatever]. That’s great.

Here is a world calculator of how many people are in the world:

http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

7,236,511,228 and counting (the number keeps changing obviously).

This is the approximate number of opinions that you could potentially have to care about IF you cared about how others viewed your body.

There are 24 hours, or 1,440 minutes, or 86,400 seconds in a day.

There are 604,800 seconds per week.

Even if you think about one person’s opinion per second (which, let’s be honest – is impossible), you have only covered approximately 0.00835% of the individual opinions in the world. This does not factor in the element of changing opinions. 

Also – if you wanted to spend one second per day caring about the opinions of every person in the world, it would take you approximately 83,755.917 days. (Or, approximately 229.468 years. I doubt you’ll live that long…)

Now, I’m no math wizard here… But this seems like a poor ROI if you ask me. It's also impossible.

Let’s stop looking at the numbers now, and get to the point of this post. There is no need, and no satisfaction, that will come from considering the opinions of others when it comes to your body. When I walk down the street, I get a wide range of looks from strangers. Some people look at me and smile, some people appear to be attracted sexually, some people look at me and give me a dirty look, and some people ignore me altogether.

Let’s go back to the numbers for just a second… Or better yet, a chart: 

 

This chart shows the equal breakout of responses from strangers you may encounter when walking down the street. (I love charts!)

Now, take this breakout – and factor in your potential reaction to each of these visual opinions.

·          25% of the time, you would be content.

·          25% of the time you would be flattered (or disturbed depending on your situation).

·          25% o the time you would be offended and bothered.

·          25% of the time you would either not care, or think “why are people avoiding looking at me?”

In just one short walk down the street, you can have a wide range of emotions and moods that are motivated by the opinions of others (and these are just visually expressed opinions, not confirmed!). This will cause increases and decreases in chemicals inside of your body that I’m not even remotely educated enough to talk about here… These chemicals will alter your moods, causing you to drift between happiness and depression – which can impact other decisions you make throughout your day. It can also impact progress of things you may have goals in such as sports, fitness, academic, cooking, or anything that requires physical and mental energy.

So, from a logical standpoint - going by numbers - why would you allow the opinions of people you don’t even know (or, even those you do know) impact things you do in YOUR life? If someone looks at you and has an opinion that may be negative, and that opinion is expressed in one second of your day, why let the other seconds be ruined by that? Also, if they’re spending one second to share an opinion about you, and investing the rest of their daily seconds thinking about other things – then why would you allow YOUR remaining daily seconds to be focused on their one second of opinion sharing?

Seems like a waste of time to me. 

Life is short. We have a limited number of seconds in this life, and none of them should be wasted on thinking about the thoughts that others have about us. We can't control the thoughts of others, and even if they express those thoughts - they're only words. If you want to do something and are afraid of an "opinion", just remember that an opinion is nothing more than one second of another person's time and only has as much power as you allow it to have.